In a previous post I talked about how we have to be willing to initiate transparency. Sharing our deeper hurts or struggles can be risky, but it’s the bedrock for a meaningful relationship. While doing work in the prison I didn’t ask anyone what they did wrong to get incarcerated, instead I shared my own past failures that would have or should have landed me a seat next to theirs. Transparency makes us vulnerable and sometimes others don't reciprocate. I’ve had times when others used what I shared with them against me, but as I stated before, who was the loser? If I am willing to take the risk first, then I open the door to an honest exchange...
If the last blog post titled “Should I Speak Up?” struck your interest then this one continues with the how part. What makes this form of relationship unique is that it’s based in the agape love that is exampled in the Bible. Love that cares for another and has that person's best interest in mind is the most difficult kind of love…...because it doesn’t always feel warm & fuzzy. The crux of this type of relationship is twofold: transparency and trust. Go throw those words around at a gathering and you’ll either get snickered at or clear the room; but these are not for the faint of heart. Most of us desiring some level of accountability have gotten here...
I recently posted on the topic of “How Do You Feel” , so here we’ll resume the very challenging theme of communication in our modern times. I’ve told friends repeatedly that I would rather they challenge me, and risk hurting my feelings if they see a questionable attitude or behavior; rather than remaining quiet while my life starts to stray off course. As a dear friend once put it to me, deviating off course by a degree or two isn’t a big deal unless you’re a pilot flying from NY to LA; in other words the longer you stay off course the worse things are going to be, and the more likely you’ll end up in unknown and undesirable...
